Rational Compassionate Living

According to the Watchtower, the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses is the “faithful and discreet slave” referred to in Matthew 24:45. The Watchtower also tells us that they were judged to be such by Jesus in the year 1919: 

Of course anyone can claim to be anything they like, and we shouldn’t just take their word for it. How do we judge for ourselves whether their claim is true? The Bible tells us that we are required to test such claims, and gives us a process to follow in making our determination:

Dear friends, don’t believe all people who say that they have the Spirit. Instead, test them. See whether the spirit they have is from God, because there are many false prophets in the world. 1 john 4:1

You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Matthew 7:16

So, following this Biblical mandate, let’s test the Watchtower’s claim: have the Governing Body displayed the “fruits” of a “faithful and discreet slave”?

Are They Faithful?

How faithful would we consider a slave who sold his master’s house without knowing if his master wished to sell it? The Governing Body sold the world headquarters of God’s organization on earth (known as “Bethel” which is Hebrew for “House of God”). They did this when they did not know Jehovah’s will on the matter!

Are They Discreet?

First, let’s lookup the definition of discreet. Here’s what I found when I googled it:

So, a discreet individual or group is going to be cautious in what they say or write. They’re not going to blurt out the first thought that comes into their head. They’re going to make sure that what they are stating is true or else they’re going to keep their mouths shut. They’ll know when “not to speak” so as to not cause offense or harm to others with untrue statements.

By their own accounting, the Governing Body was not as discreet back in 1919 as they are now:

“As we might expect, over the years Jehovah has helped ‘the faithful and discreet slave’ to become steadily more discreet. Discretion has led to greater caution when it comes to calling a Bible account a prophetic drama unless there is a clear Scriptural basis for doing so.”
March 15, 2015 Watchtower (pgs. 9-10, paragraph 10) (emphasis added)

There are two important sentences in that quote, and we’re going to deal with the second one in a moment. But first, let’s consider the fact that the Governing Body has “become steadily more discreet” over time, and so was of necessity less discreet in the past.

We can then imagine a timeline: a graph representing “discreetness,” it would be a straight line “steadily” leading up to the amount of discreetness shown by the Governing Body today.

But, where to start and end the line? Well, if we were to find the GB making a non-discreet statement, we could start the line there at zero, and then progress up to where we might guess they are at the current time, and even project that to 100% at the start of Armageddon. Something like this:

You’ll notice that the line is at zero in the year 1967 (and, being “steadily” progressive, is of necessity below zero prior to that year.) We zero the line at that year due to the Watchtower’s stating, in the November 15, 1967 Watchtower (p. 702) that organ transplants were against God’s law, and were equivalent to “cannibalism.” This statement caused harm to their followers who were in need of organ transplants (and caused at least one documented death.)

In March of 1980, the Watchtower reversed its position on organ transplants, proving that their 1967 ban was incautious, to say the least. In fact, it was the epitome of indiscretion. Since it was a mistaken ban, evidently they were not being “led by Jehovah’s spirit” when they made the 1967 announcement, and so, if they were discreet they should’ve kept their mouths shut.

On the other hand, if they thought they were being led by Jehovah’s spirit in the 1967 ban, then they were wrong, and evidently don’t know what it feels like to be led by that spirit, and hence have never really felt led by that spirit.

In accordance with our chart, if we look back prior to the year 1967 we see even more egregiously indiscreet statements such as: “vaccinations are filthy pus which never saved a life, and which are against God’s everlasting covenant.” (Golden Age, Feb 4, 1931, pp. 293-294)

All of which brings us back to 1919: the year in which Jesus supposedly judged the Governing Body to be “faithful and discreet.” But they would’ve been below zero on the discretion scale during that year! In support of this, we have the following Watchtower statement issued a couple of years prior, and still held as “truth”  up until 1926:

The Watch Tower unhesitatingly proclaims Brother Russell as “that faithful and wise servant.” — Watchtower, March 1, 1917 p. 68

How discreet was it to “unhesitatingly proclaim” something that later proved to be false? How is that being cautious, circumspect, or prudent? Well, it’s not. So they were not in any sense discreet in 1919, and Jesus would not have judged them to be so. But we are asked to believe that the leaders of the Watchtower were judged to be the F&D Slave while they were “unhesitatingly proclaiming” that they definitely were not the F&D Slave!

Let’s turn now to the second sentence in the March 2015 Watchtower quote: “Discretion has led to greater caution when it comes to calling a Bible account a prophetic drama unless there is a clear Scriptural basis for doing so.”

What is the “clear Scriptural basis” for calling the parable of the “faithful and wise steward” related in MT. 24:45, a “prophetic drama”? There is none. It is a simple parable. There is no such thing as a “faithful and discreet slave class.” There never was one, and there never was intended to be one. It was a parable about how individuals are to behave, just as the parable of the Good Samaritan is not about a class of people, but rather demonstrates moral conduct for all of us to follow.

Here’s the clincher: in Mark’s account of this, Jesus says in conclusion: “But what I say to you I say to all” (Mark 13:37). So, again, his words were meant as a guide for “all” of us; and were certainly never meant as a prophecy concerning the likes of Tony, Steve, Dave, Jeff, Mark, Jerry, Ken, and Sam! 

Are They Slaves?

I looked it up: A “slave” is:

“A person who is the legal property of another and is forced to obey him.”

Does this sound like the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses? According to the Bible, Christians are not “forced to obey,” but are supposed to serve God willingly:

Therefore, as a fellow elder, a witness of the sufferings of the Christ and a sharer of the glory that is to be revealed, I make this appeal to the elders among you: Shepherd the flock of God under your care, serving as overseers, not under compulsion, but willingly before God; 1 Peter 5:1-2 (NWT)

When I see Governing Body members riding around in their luxury cars or flashing their gold rings and expensive wristwatches before the cameras, it strikes me that their self-appellation of “slaves” is a slap in the face to anyone whose ancestors endured the horrors of genuine slavery.

In summary, then: we have found only thistles and thorns while testing the Governing Body’s claim. The light has indeed gotten brighter, and it is now clear as day that they are not “the faithful and discreet slave” that they claim to be.

Since their followers are compelled to serve them (on pain of eternal death), the Governing Body are more like slave owners than slaves. So, in the end, our examination finds that the Governing Body are really unfaithful and indiscreet slave owners.

See also:

• When the Governing Body Called on Socrates. Part 2
• Who’s a faithful, discreet slave, then?
• Failing the Final Exam.
• Examining the Case FOR the Faithful and Discreet Slave

Here’s a cogent Facebook response we received to an article on the stories in Genesis:

Your article is from satan who want 2 portray our God Jehovah’s illogical & unloving .in your intire article u didn’t mention tha role played by satan( serpent) in this story is bcause that role is insignificant ? Or is becse is your father u are trying 2 hide his fauts?! The tree of good and bad must remind da first couple that only Jehovah as a creater must decide what is a good and bad 4 them unfortunately satan ried 2 them convincing them that they would be better in deciding by themselves whot is good and bad in fact they wanted 2 be like Jehovah ;as promised Jehovah sentenced them 2 death and in extension all their descendants
–Jonny Claudio [sic]

The reason that we didn’t mention Satan is that the account in the Bible doesn’t mention Satan either. Jonny should try actually reading Genesis sometime: Satan doesn’t appear anywhere in that book. In fact, you can go on and read the next book in the Bible (Exodus) and you won’t find the little devil there either.

For all the press he gets, you may be surprised to learn that Satan only appears in three of the thirty-nine books of the Hebrew Scriptures.

1. First Chronicles 21:1 “Then Satan* stood up against Israel and incited David to number Israel.”
   • Footnote: Or possibly, a “resister.”
2. The book of Job casts Satan as one of the main characters in its story.
3. Zechariah 3:1-2: “And he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of Jehovah, and Satan was standing at his right hand to resist him. Then the angel of Jehovah said to Satan: “May Jehovah rebuke you, O Satan, yes, may Jehovah, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebuke you!
   Is not this one a burning log snatched out of the fire?”

That’s all, folks.

That’s quite a contrast to the plethora of references to Satan in Watchtower publications.

In all other places the Hebrew word for Satan is translated as adversary, opposer, etc. The following are all from the NWT (2013 ed.) except where noted. The Hebrew word for Satan has been italicized by me:

• Psalm 109:6 “Appoint a wicked man over him; May a resister* stand at his right hand.”
  • (footnote reads: “or an accuser”)
  • “let Satan stand at his right hand” (KJV)
• Numbers 22:22 “But God’s anger blazed because he was going, and Jehovah’s angel stationed himself in the road to resist him.”
  • “And God’s anger was kindled because he went: and the angel of the LORD stood in the way for an adversary against him.” (KJV)
• Numbers 22:32 “Then Jehovah’s angel said to him: “Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? Look! I myself came out to offer resistance, because your way is in defiance of my will.”
  • “I have come out as an adversary” (New American Standard Bible)
• 1 Samuel 29:4 The Philistines say: “lest he [David] be an adversary against us”
• 2 Samuel 19:22 David says: “[you sons of Zeruaiah] should this day be adversaries (plural) unto me?”
• 1 Kings 5:4 Solomon writes to Hiram: “there is neither adversary nor evil occurrent.”
• 1 Kings 11:14 “And the LORD stirred up an adversary unto Solomon, Hadad the Edomite“^[12]
• 1 Kings 11:23 “And God stirred him up an adversary, Rezon the son of Eliadah“
• 25 “And he [Rezon] was an adversary to Israel all the days of Solomon”

But Wasn’t the Serpent in the Garden of Eden none other than Satan?

Just like the doctrine of the Trinity, this is something that does not come from the Bible directly, but was “inferred” over time by the early “church fathers.”

Satan is traditionally identified as the serpent who tempted Eve to eat the forbidden fruit; thus, Satan has often been depicted as a serpent. Justin Martyr, who was born around 100 C.E., was the first to postulate this association. According to Kelly, Justin makes this association “casually”, without giving an explanation for his reasoning.

In Chapters 45 and 79 of Dialogue with Trypho, Justin identifies Satan and the Serpent, asserting that he tempted humankind for “an unspecified sinful reason” and was cursed as a result. However, after Justin, the idea was promulgated by his student Theophilus, Bishop of Antioch, and somewhat later by Tertullian.

From the fourth century Lucifer is sometimes used in Christian theology to refer to Satan, as a result of identifying the fallen “son of the dawn” of Isaiah 14:12 with the “accuser” of other passages in the Old Testament.

It’s odd that the Watchtower rejects the Trinity on the basis of its being extra-biblical, but accepts the idea that the serpent was Satan on the very same basis.

Is Satan Even an Individual?

It seems the answer to the above question is No, at least for the writers of the Hebrew Scriptures. They would’ve agreed with Christadelphians of today: “Satan” was just a term used for anyone acting as an adversary. That’s why the word was applied to all the people mentioned above. It also explains why Jesus called Peter Satan when he opposed him:

But turning his back, he said to Peter: “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me, because you think, not God’s thoughts, but those of men.”
Mt 16:23

It’s not that Jesus mistook Peter for an evil spirit named Satan, or that he meant “hey, you are acting like that individual known as Satan,” Rather, he simply meant: “you are opposing my plan.”

This means that the entire basis of Jehovah’s Witness belief has crumbled to dust before our eyes. There is no “bet” being waged between a god named Jehovah an an evil spirit named Satan with us as pawns in their game of wits.

There is no Satan to be vanquished by a son of a god or thrown into an abyss for a thousand years. Though this sounds like a plot out of some sort of third-rate mythology/sci-fi novel, it is what Jehovah’s Witnesses have been duped into believing by the Watchtower. It is why someone like Jonny can write, in all seriousness, that our article is “from Satan” and that we’re trying to “hide his faults” because he is our father! Pinch me, please; am I still in the twenty-first century?

Imagine that you’re walking along, minding your own business, when suddenly a stranger dressed in rags gets in your face and demands that you hit him! Naturally you take him for a crazy man, and decline to strike him. Then he threatens you, claiming that you will be killed for not having obeyed him!

A rather strange story, no? But one straight from the Bible book of Kings. Our lesson for today is all about prophets of Jehovah, and is taken from 1 Kings chapters 20 through 22.

It seems that if a stranger asks you to strike him you’d better do it; he might be a prophet, and you’ll be killed for having refrained from violence and for having shown compassion to the mentally challenged. Don’t thank me for this sage advice; I can’t take credit; it’s just another valuable Bible lesson on morality. Don’t believe me? Then we’d better open our Bibles to today’s text:

By the word of Jehovah, one of the sons of the prophets said to his companion: “Strike me, please.” But the man refused to strike him. So he said to him: “Because you did not listen to the voice of Jehovah, as soon as you leave me, a lion will kill you.” After he left him, a lion came upon him and killed him.
— 1 Kings 20:35-36

It turns out that this prophet wanted to be struck so that he could practice a deception on Ahab, the king of Israel. He wanted to fool Ahab into thinking that he had come from battle.

He found another man and said: “Strike me, please.” So the man struck him and wounded him.
Then the prophet went and waited for the king by the road, disguising himself with a bandage over his eyes.

As the king was passing by, he cried out to the king: “Your servant went into the thick of the battle, and there was a man coming out who brought a man to me and said, ‘Guard this man. If he is found missing, your life will have to take the place of his life, or else you will pay a talent of silver.’ And while your servant was busy here and there, suddenly the man was gone.”

The king of Israel said to him: “So your own judgment will be; you have decided it yourself.”

At that point, the prophet revealed the ruse he had played on Ahab:

Then he quickly removed the bandage from his eyes, and the king of Israel recognized that he was one of the prophets. He said to him: “This is what Jehovah says, ‘Because you have let the man whom I said should be destroyed escape from your hand, your life must take the place of his life, and your people the place of his people.’”

Ahab had made peace with Ben-hadad, the king of Damascus. This is what the prophet of Jehovah was so pissed off about. Prophets of a god of war (“Jehovah of armies“) tend to hate peace since it presents no opportunity for their god to shine. So, Jehovah threatened to kill Ahab for his peace-mongering ways, and to kill the Israelites to boot!

“At that the king of Israel went home to Samaria, sullen and dejected.” But then he evidently forgot all about being murdered along with his people, and decided to buy a vineyard from Naboth. But Naboth refused to sell it, and Ahab was depressed all over again.

However, Ahab’s wife Jezebel decided to cheer him up by arranging to have Naboth stoned to death, after which she took his vineyard and presented it to her husband as a gift.

When Jehovah heard about this, he got mad at Ahab (instead of the perpetrator Jezebel) and had the prophet Elijah declare the following to Ahab:

“Have you murdered a man and also taken his property?” This is what Jehovah says: “In the place where the dogs licked up the blood of Naboth, the dogs will lick up your own blood.”

According to the Bible, Ahab had not murdered a man nor taken his property: his wife had. Jehovah was being unjust in sentencing the wrong person to death.

As soon as Ahab heard these words, he ripped his garments apart and put sackcloth on his body; and he went on a fast and kept lying down in sackcloth and walking despondently.

It’s odd that Ahab got so upset at this second death sentence from Jehovah’s prophets; he was already condemned to die by Jehovah for not having killed a man (Ben-hadad). Now he was condemned to die by Jehovah for having killed a man he did not kill (Naboth).

Jehovah’s word then came to Elijah the Tishbite: “Have you seen how Ahab has humbled himself on my account? Because he has humbled himself before me, I will not bring the calamity during his lifetime. I will bring the calamity upon his house in the days of his son.”

Jehovah must love sackcloth. Just don a garment made of this fabric (goat’s hair) and Jehovah will forgive you anything. In this case, he commuted Ahab’s death sentence (both of them.) However, being the just judge of all the universe that he is, he decided to punish Ahab’s son instead (despite what the prophet Ezekiel had declared about Jehovah not punishing a son for his father’s sin (Ez. 18:20).)

But Jehovah still wasn’t finished with having his prophets play tricks on this woe-begotten king. Even though he commuted his death sentences, and promised not to “bring calamity” upon him, Jehovah decided to kill Ahab anyway. It seems there was a war being considered against Syria in order to recapture the city of Ramoth-Gilead. All of the prophets told Ahab that he would succeed in this — though Jehovah was planning for his demise:

All the other prophets were prophesying the same way, saying: “Go up to Ramoth-gilead and you will be successful; Jehovah will give it into the king’s hand.”

But Micaiah said: “As surely as Jehovah is living, whatever Jehovah says to me is what I will speak.”

Then he came in to the king, and the king asked him: “Micaiah, should we go to war against Ramoth-gilead, or should we refrain?” At once he replied: “Go up and you will be successful; Jehovah will give it into the king’s hand.”

At that the king said to him: “How many times must I put you under oath not to speak to me anything but the truth in the name of Jehovah?”

Micaiah then said: “Therefore, hear the word of Jehovah: I saw Jehovah sitting on his throne and all the army of the heavens standing by him, to his right and to his left. Jehovah then said, ‘Who will fool Ahab, so that he will go up and fall at Ramoth-gilead?’ And one was saying one thing while another said something else. Then a spirit came forward and stood before Jehovah and said, ‘I will fool him.’ Jehovah asked him, ‘How will you do it?’ He replied, ‘I will go out and become a deceptive spirit in the mouth of all his prophets.’ So he said, ‘You will fool him, and what is more, you will be successful. Go out and do that.’

And now Jehovah has put a deceptive spirit in the mouth of all these prophets of yours, but Jehovah has declared calamity for you.”

Notice how Micaiah vowed that “as sure as Jehovah is living” he would say whatever Jehovah told him to say. Yet, at first Micaiah said that Ahab would be successful because Jehovah would “give it into the king’s hand.” But when admonished to keep his oath, Micaiah told Ahab that the unchanging god Jehovah had “declared calamity” for him, despite having previously stated “I will not bring the calamity during his lifetime.”

For having revealed the con, one of the other prophets struck Micaiah. But unlike the first prophet in our tale, Micaiah didn’t like being struck (an inconsistent, unpredictable lot, these prophets.)

Ahab decided to believe the majority of the prophets instead of Micaiah, and went to the battle, where he was mortally wounded and died, and the dogs licked up his blood “according to the word that Jehovah had spoken.” So, the Bible contends that Micaiah was right: Jehovah had sent a lying spirit into the mouth of all the prophets to fool Ahab into thinking that Jehovah would see him safely through the battle — all the while Jehovah intended to see him killed!

So, what do we learn from these three chapters of the Bible? Well, it seems Jehovah and his prophets practice deception, encourage violence, contradict themselves, and punish the peacemakers [despite another prophet who promised that the peacemakers were “blessed” and would be called — just like himself — “sons of God.” (MT 5:9).] They also punish the wrong people (the innocent instead of the guilty).

And, oh yeah: they lie, big time; no matter what oaths they take or vows they make.

So, it should come as no surprise that the organization that today claims to be “Jehovah’s prophet” engages in similar behavior:

• Demanding unthinking obedience to counter-compassionate orders (such as shunning family members and letting children die for want of a transfusion.)
• Commanding their people to rejoice at the thought of their coming longed-for ultimate war: Armageddon, where they envision billions of people dying horribly violent deaths.
• Upholding the time-honored prophetic traditions of deception and lying.
• Making false prophecies.
• Contradicting themselves.
• Punishing the wrong people:
  • rape victims (who neglect to scream)
  • parents who choose their children over the Watchtower
  • whistle-blowers who expose their harmful policies and who point out their lies
  • people who love one another (of the same gender)

So, when the Watchtower claims to be “Jehovah’s modern-day prophet on Earth,” I guess they really do have a point: in many ways they act just like the prophets in these chapters of First Kings.

See Also:

The Major Prophets

Profits and Non-Prophets

The Jehovah’s Witnesses refer to their religion as “the truth.” But what exactly do they see as the truth about the universe and its history? We’re going to answer that question right here and now in this single article! Brace yourselves: we are going to give you their whole truth story in a nutshell (which, when all is said and done, you may find very apropos.)

Here goes:

About 6,000 years ago the god Jehovah decided to create Adam. As an afterthought he also “built” Eve. But, before knowing right from wrong, these two foolish people disobeyed Jehovah (after Eve had listened to a talking serpent.) So Jehovah put the wicked fallen angel Satan in charge of them and all of the Earth and stepped out of the spotlight for about 4,000 years — except to drown nearly everyone and everything on one occasion; stage a bloody puppet-show with Pharaoh and Moses; help out with some Israeli wars; and order himself up a whole lot of burnt animals to savor the smell of.

Then this god decided to forgive humankind for Adam and Eve’s disobedience by impregnating a virgin girl and having their son born on Earth as a human whom he arranged to kill as a sacrifice to himself.

People proceeded to write contradictory books about all of this, and hundreds of years later the apostate Catholic Church voted which of these books were “inspired by God.” But, just like the “whore of Babylon” that they are, they got some of them wrong. Over a millennium later the apostate Protestants corrected the Catholic mistakes by throwing out several books, leaving what was left to form what we now know as “the [Protestant] Bible.” (Luther wanted to throw out the book of Revelation as well, but unfortunately was out-voted.)

Things went from bad to worse for hundreds of more years until Charles Taze Russell got so scared of hell that he wrote The Studies in the Scriptures and founded the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society to publish them. These books were meant not only to debunk the mainstream notion of roasting souls, but also set out to prove that the Adventists were right about 1874 being the second-coming of the god Jehovah’s son (albeit invisibly). This was to be followed by a 40-year “harvest of the saints,” which included the restoration of all Jews to Palestine, the disappearance of the Saints from off the Earth by 1910, and Armageddon. The end of the 40-year harvest brought them up to 1914 which would see the end of Armageddon, the start of the resurrection of the dead, and the restoration of paradise on Earth. This chronology was “undeniably true” since it was all backed by erroneous measurements of the Great Pyramid of Egypt (hailed as “the Bible in stone.”)

When 1914 came and went with the “Saints” still earthbound, the Jews still scattered, and no formerly-dead folks running around, Russell was somewhat confounded. But the next president of the Watchtower: the usurper Rutherford, solved the problem by declaring the pyramid to be “Satan’s Bible.” Eventually he simply dropped the 1874 date and moved the son of Jehovah’s invisible presence up to 1914: the year when Jesus was crowned king of heaven and Earth, and Satan was simultaneously kicked out of heaven and fell to Earth (where he became even more active in world affairs and shifting tectonic plates.)

The 40-year “harvest period” was dropped in favor of the new “understanding” that the generation that had lived through and understood the significance of the year 1914 [which, in reality would exclude all of the “Bible Students”, since they understood it to be the end of the last days: not their start] would live to see Armageddon (in which all non Jehovah’s Witnesses — instead of living into the millennium to there be taught the truth and judged [as per Russell’s understanding] — would now die horrible deaths for not subscribing to the Watchtower and playing Rutherford’s phonograph recordings.) Then an Earthly paradise would be restored for a “great crowd” of Jehovah’s Witnesses (leaving room for only a total of 144,000 Witnesses to go to heaven.)

A few years later the son of the god Jehovah took a look at all of the world’s religions (I guess he wasn’t paying attention when they had first formed) and judged Rutherford’s Bible Students (later “Jehovah’s Witnesses”) to be the best, while all the rest were judged to be of Satan. So he arranged for Rutherford’s release from prison in 1919 — just as foretold in the Bible book of Revelation [though they couldn’t get the dates to correspond,fudge them though they did]!

This group, now on a roll, went on to fulfill more prophecies from the book of Revelation, such as when they held a convention in Cedar Point Ohio, releasing books written by Rutherford which no one today believes in or reads. (In case you were wondering, this fulfilled the pouring out of the seven great plagues prophesied in Revelation.)

After killing off some of its members by banning vaccinations, organ-transplants, and blood fractions, Jehovah’s organization on Earth had an “OOPS!” moment when they realized that these things were not against their god’s law. So they lifted these bans and just killed their members by keeping a ban on whole blood and its “primary components” (even though these are also not against their god’s law.)

When the 1914 generation had died out, a new understanding of “generation” was revealed: it meant “overlapping generations“!

Then Jehovah’s Earthly organization suffered much persecution (thus proving that they are “Christ’s brothers”) by being fined millions of dollars for failing to protect children from the child molesters in their midst.

Finally, when more than 144,000 Jehovah’s Witnesses had declared themselves to be of that number, most of them were lovingly declared by god’s organization on Earth to be as “mentally diseased” as the Watchtower’s critics.

That pretty much brings us up to date, other than the organization’s foray into the online world, and the ban on Spanx, tight pants, and ice-cream cones.

Of course, this brief synopsis of what the Jehovah’s Witnesses believe to have taken place over the last 6,000 years can hardly do it justice. After all, how could we overlook such milestones as the all-important revelation of the identity of the “faithful and discreet slave” to whom we all must “listen and obey”? This “slave,” of course, was identified as: Charles Taze Russell — oops: old light — we mean the 144,000 — oops: old light — we mean the Governing Body, but only when they’re pontificating on important truths [such as the fact that Smurf dolls are commonly demonized] in which case we must believe whatever they say without question even if what they say seems wrong to us, and even though they don’t claim to be infallible [as if such a disclaimer were needed!] and even though they claim they’re not a mind-controlling cult!

Unfortunately a synopsis by its very nature must leave out many enthralling details such as these. Not to mention: the 1925 resurrection of the Ancient Worthies and the mansion built for them after they failed to show; radio waves as the ultimate panacea; and the mortal danger of aluminum cookware.

So, there you have it: The entire insight into Jehovah’s Witness beliefs in a nutshell! We may have just saved some of you from a six month Watchtower “Bible study”!

In part two we will begin to suggest some ways of reasoning with people who actually believe this story to be true. When I believed the story, my mother had ministers visit us in the hope of talking sense to me. But all they did was try to prove hell-fire and the trinity. It had no appreciable effect on me other than to send me off to re-read Watchtower articles on those subjects. So, I don’t think that arguing scriptural interpretations is productive. The Bible is open to many possible interpretations which have been wrangled over for centuries. It’s not likely that any of us are going to resolve those disputes.

Instead, we’re going to look at the foundation that their story rests upon:

• The existence of the god Jehovah
• Whether Jesus Christ ever existed
• If the Bible can possibly be the “word of god.”

We’ll start with the big guy himself: Jehovah! So please click on: Part Two: Does Jehovah Exist?